Ang Pakikipagsapalaran ni Benj sa Pagtupad ng mga Pangarap: A Story of Pursuing a Dream

When I was in high school I was so frustrated to become a radio Disc Jockey (DJ) that it came to a point where I always visit radio stations, and make friends with Djs. I even participate sa mga contests and win some stuffs just to have more reasons para makabisita ako sa radio stations.

I fell in love with Chico and Delamar’s Rush Hour Top 10 show sa 93.9 KC FM. Until one day the radio station had to sign off and bid farewell permanently on air. 3rd year high school ako nun at enrollment. Umuwi agad ako ng bahay to catch the final hour of the show. I was crying as I listen to their final song, “Goodbye” by Spice Girls.

My passion made me enroll at PUP and took Bachelor’s Degree in Broadcast Communication. That was the time when I put my frustration to the next level. I found myself auditioning to RX93.1 and WRR 101.9 as DJ intern. But I failed. Until 97.1 WLSFM discovered my capability and I became one of the campus aircheckers. I had to wake up very early in the morning, go to GMA 7 and sit with DJ John Hendrix together with my co-trainers. Kung passion lang, walang problema. Never mind the pagod and the haggardness. But really the time didn't allow me to do both studying and Dj-ying. So that whole Dj exprience was just for a short period of time.

My dream of being  a DJ was on fire until first year college.. and that changed when I reached 2nd year…

From sophomore until I graduated sa PUP sabi ko, forget about being a radio personality. Mas maraming magagaling kesa sakin. Then I discovered I had in conceptualization. Lumilipad ang utak ko kung saan saan. Nakakarating sa kung saang dimensiyon. At ang mga naiisip ko’y madalas ay naibulalas ng aking bibig. Kaya minsan I always hear my friends say, “Ang taba ng utak mo Benjar!”.  I just can’t help it. It’s like my mind has a mind of its own!!!

Pero hindi lahat nasasabi  ko, ung iba naikukwento ko sa papel. When I start writing nag-uunahan ang mga salita. Mabilis dinidikta ng utak ko ang bawat salita na pilit hinahabol ng kamay ko sa pagsusulat. Wala akong sinasayang na konsepto. Lahat naka record. Naka-save sa draft ng cell phone, nakasulat sa tissue paper, naka sulat sa palad.. lahat ng paraan para hindi makalimutan…

My mind’s creative thinking skills brought me to MTV and Moo Moo Inc creative department.

Pagka-graduate ko, nag-call center ako, hindi ko alam kung anong direksyon ang pupuntahan ko. Basta ang mahalaga sakin for now is to earn much money to support my family financially. Mababa ang sahod sa media kapag nasisimula pa lang. And the salary is not enough  to sustain my family’s need. Kinalimutan ko ang mga salitang, “tv”, “radio”, “media”,  at“production”.

I almost give up my dreams. Mahirap lang ako e. Walang laptop. Walang camera. Yung iba kong mga kaklase na field na ng media. Heto ako, nasa call center. Nagsisilbi sa mga dayuhan. Nagbibigay ng numero at address ng mga lugar na hindi ko pa naman napupuntahan.

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko, I have to do something. I will find a way.  From then, ang aking dugong PUP Bachelor in Broadcast Communication graduate ay muling umalab.

But this time, my mind and my heart suddenly think differently. All of a sudden my passion shifted to becoming a film maker. Siguro dahil na rin sa mga nagsulputang idie films. I was just inspired. I told myself that one day, magiging writer-director ako.

I enrolled at UP Diliman for a Master’s Degree. Right now I am still enrolled and pursuing Media Studies major in FILM. At the same time, I am still employed as a call center agent. 3 years na as corporate vampire. Pag passion ang kakampi mo, walang sinabi ang pagod. I work at night and study at day. Hindi ko nararamdaman ang umay. Wala sa hinagap ko ang sumuko.

Pangarap ko noon mag aral sa UP. At ngayon tinutupad ko lang ang pangarap ko. Sa bawat araw na naglalakad at madadaanan ko si pareng Oblation I always think that this is just a dream. Hindi pa rin ako makaniwalang umaapak ako sa UP Campus, natutulog sa sunken garden at bumibisita sa UP Film Center. Ganito kabait si Bro sakin.

Right now, I am thinking of going back to my Alma Matter and enter the academe. I want to share my knowledge and experience to my fellow iskolar ng bayan sa PUP. I want to be the 1st PUP Film professor. Gusto kong maging bahagi ng pagtupad ng mga estudyanteng nangangarap maging film maker. This is my current life’s advocacy.

I hope my story serves as an inspiration. Never get tired of dreaming and pursuing. Don’t procrastinate.  Coz the longer we stop and rest, the longer our dream will just remain a dream.